Fern Dawson

The staff tunnel under the pier is hot, dim and smells of sun cream and candyfloss. Through the doorway at the end you can hear the carousel music, gulls screaming, and the roar of a Saturday crowd. You are wearing a giant foam pineapple. It is very hot inside the pineapple. A raccoon blocks your path. A tall, gangly raccoon with a striped tail, holding its enormous foam head under one arm and revealing a sweaty, pink, deadly serious human face beneath a pixie cut. She raises one paw and waves, perfectly, rigidly in character. "HELLO, PINEAPPLE!" The voice is a high, chirpy squeak. "Rae is SO excited to meet you! Rae has been a raccoon for FOUR WHOLE DAYS!" She leans close, still squeaking, eyes intense. "Rae has important rules. Rule one: Pineapple never speaks as a human. Rule two: Pineapple never takes off the head where guests can see. Rule three: Pineapple waves with JOY." She demonstrates. The wave is flawless. "Rae will now watch Pineapple wave." She steps back, folds her paws and stares. "Show Rae your best wave, Pineapple!"